So, I know I mention “body positivity” a lot…in the blog, on social media, in the private Facebook community. But I don’t know if I’ve ever really defined what that looks like all in one place.
To start, I’m going to do a little disclaimer: by no means do I have the monopoly on this definition. However, I CAN tell you what body positive means to me, and in the context in which it is used on my various platforms…and the vision I hope you also have for yourself!
So, let’s dive in. What do I mean when I talk about body positivity?
Every Body Means EVERY Body
This. Period. End of story. Fat. Skinny. Tall. Short. Curvy. Flat.
Every single body is fucking beautiful!
Just as it is. Right now. This moment.
Even if you have goals for your body, please understand and respect your body as it is. It’s fucking amazing! It breathes for you! Your blood moves through you! Some of you have even grown little people! Some of you have survived traumas, illness, disease, depression…your body made that possible. And that is fucking rad!
Say No To Fatphobia
Do. Not. Fatshame. Uh uh. No. That shit is NOT welcome here.
Understand that “fat” is not a bad word. Get rid of that stigma, and take it back! You CAN be fat and beautiful. You can be fat, beautiful, AND healthy. These things are not mutually exclusive.
On the flip-side of that; understand that everyone’s body experience is different. No skinny-shaming, either! Some people are truly unable to gain weight for medical reasons or because they are perfectly healthy the way they are (different body types are natural and a GOOD thing!), and your body may be exactly what someone else wishes they had!
Every size has its stigmas, and we are not any of the -ists here: not sizist, ageist, ableist…
Everyone has a struggle, and one size is not better or more important than any other, and none are immune to stigma.
This Movement Is Inclusive AF
ALL are welcome here.
Men. Women. Non-binary. Trans. Everyone in between!
This is an inclusive space, in every meaning of that word.
The only people who are not welcome? People who show they aren’t really part of the movement and break any of the “rules” laid out here, like shaming someone, not reading the room, not doing the work, not willing to be inclusive, etc. If you have a problem with these things, there’s the door…and no need to make a fuss on the way out!
Do The Work
Ah, yes. You have to do the thing. And, yes, sometimes it is hard.
To de-program ourselves from the stigmas and ideologies that have been pounded into us since birth, we have to really dig in and do the work to make the shift.
Do you think I woke up one day just magically body positive in every single way? Hell no!
I have had my own body positivity journey, complete with struggles, just like anyone else. The difference? I do the work every single day to break down the stigmas and to embrace and celebrate bodies. Because that’s the way it should be!
“Doing the work” looks like…
How You Talk To/About Others
Have you ever been out somewhere or seen a photo and thought “they shouldn’t wear/do that because (something to do with their appearance).”
Or heard/said “You would be so pretty/hot/attractive if you…”
Yeah. That shit is toxic.
With how ingrained this is, you will have to make an effort to change this rhetoric. When your brain tries to tell you why that’s not acceptable, you need to manually correct the behavior.
“YES BEAUTIFUL/HANDSOME/SEXY! I can tell you love what you’re wearing today, and you look FIERCE AF!”
It takes time, it takes work. But over time, you’ll be conditioned to the body positive reaction (as you should be) instead of the negative!
How You Talk To/About Yourself
This is a big one. Saying things like “I’m so fat”, “I’m so ugly”, “I need to lose x pounds to be attractive” is SO FUCKING HARMFUL to yourself!
Start small. Find the little things you love about yourself. Do you have gorgeous eyes? YEAH YOU DO! Tell yourself! And if finding the physical things are hard at first, start with your personality. Are you kind? Funny? Strong? Smart? Celebrate it!
Make a point of giving yourself at least three compliments every single day. This is completely transformative to how you see yourself.
This one is super important.
You need to be willing to learn!
Everyone makes mistakes. We’re all human. But when you double down and get defensive because you unintentionally said or did something harmful, rather than trying to figure out how/why that thing is harmful so you can correct the behavior, you stop doing the work.
For instance: did you know fatphobia has roots in white supremacy and racism? Or that BMI is a COMPLETELY inaccurate way to measure a person’s health (and is also rooted in racism and not really scientifically backed at all)?
When you are an activist for something (and yes, body positivity is included!) your education should never end, and you should recognize that just because you know the basic principles and practice the bare minimum performative steps, you are not an expert!
We must constantly seek to learn, through self-education and through listening to the actual experiences/perspectives of others.
Buying/Doing Things That Make YOU Feel Good
The physical aspect of doing body positive work: do things that make YOU feel good! WEAR things that make YOU feel good!
Crop tops and bikinis? For every body. Lingerie? DEFINITELY for every body! Embrace yourself. Create your own confidence; when you feel good about yourself, it shows!
Bottom line: forget what you’ve been told “everyone will think”; 99.9% of the time, most people don’t care. And if they do? They’re not the kind of person you want in your life, anyway!
Oh, and…do a boudoir photoshoot! Boudoir is SO empowering, and it is absolutely meant for every single body type!
Welcome to the Revolution!
You survived the BoPo crash course. How’re you feeling?
If you think this is something you want to do, join us! And if you are interested in booking a boudoir shoot with me and rocking the body positive life, get in touch today!